i need an iv and a liver transplant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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