If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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