is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
