can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this is an emotional support booty call
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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