My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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