She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
