He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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