Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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