I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize