Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
