It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
