So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
