those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
