Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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