This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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