My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
