i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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