I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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