yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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