so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
