this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
