who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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