Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
now i know why i became what i already was.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
