What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
