oh god the rape fog is back!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
birth control should be required to get into college
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
