wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
