I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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