yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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