don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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