margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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