so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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