I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
