After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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