I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
