Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
