she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
