nut hugger
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
