Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize