so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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