He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We left the knife in your bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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