The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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