I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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