so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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