Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize