I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
