But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
