Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
