We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize