I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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