3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize