i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm always down for nudity.
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