Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize