I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
