you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I believe in your delicious
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
