It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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