I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
