His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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