So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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