took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
